1 00:00:00,180 --> 00:00:01,780 In this video, we'll discuss. 2 00:00:01,800 --> 00:00:07,410 Could I benefit from a friendship organization, all too often we end up in friendships that causes 3 00:00:07,410 --> 00:00:09,170 more problems than happiness. 4 00:00:09,330 --> 00:00:14,700 Most people will recognize the scenario of a so-called friend who only seems to be interested in their 5 00:00:14,730 --> 00:00:18,210 own problems, who always seems to be asking you for help. 6 00:00:18,210 --> 00:00:22,050 But there never seems to be around when you need their assistance in return. 7 00:00:22,110 --> 00:00:27,330 Many people are extremely aware of having a friend who only ever seems to come around when they want 8 00:00:27,330 --> 00:00:30,120 something or when they want to complain and whine. 9 00:00:30,120 --> 00:00:33,090 If you have a friend who brings you down rather than lift you up. 10 00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:37,190 It's possible that you could benefit from some friendship organization. 11 00:00:37,230 --> 00:00:40,230 Could some of your friendships be causing your problems? 12 00:00:40,320 --> 00:00:46,680 Cluttered friendships are one final facet of a cluttered life that can lead to a disorganized mind and 13 00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:48,000 poor mental well-being. 14 00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:52,440 If you constantly feel as if you're having to put someone else first without that person having the 15 00:00:52,440 --> 00:00:56,110 same approach to you, you're probably in a toxic friendship. 16 00:00:56,220 --> 00:01:00,090 It's human nature to try to cling on to the friendships that we've formed. 17 00:01:00,090 --> 00:01:03,570 But sometimes those friendships simply aren't worth saving. 18 00:01:03,570 --> 00:01:08,550 When a friendship brings you misery and not happiness, it's time to consider letting it go in order 19 00:01:08,550 --> 00:01:11,530 to clutter your life and boost your mental health. 20 00:01:11,580 --> 00:01:13,390 What is a toxic friendship? 21 00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:18,680 How do you recognize if you're in a toxic friendship, it can be hard to spot a toxic friend. 22 00:01:18,780 --> 00:01:23,660 It's possible that they were once a best friend who was kind and helpful towards you in the past. 23 00:01:23,670 --> 00:01:29,070 It can be difficult to see how a relationship like that can deteriorate over time. 24 00:01:29,070 --> 00:01:33,780 And so you might overlook the telltale signs of a toxicity for a long time. 25 00:01:33,780 --> 00:01:37,260 Often jealousy is the root cause of a toxic friendship. 26 00:01:37,260 --> 00:01:42,420 Perhaps you got a better paid job, found a new partner, started a family or lost weight. 27 00:01:42,420 --> 00:01:47,160 Your friend may find it hard to cope with their own feelings of inadequacy and may begin to put you 28 00:01:47,160 --> 00:01:49,380 down, treats you badly or even black. 29 00:01:49,380 --> 00:01:51,900 You label your friendships for clarity. 30 00:01:51,930 --> 00:01:54,990 Labeling your friendships will bring you more clarity in your life. 31 00:01:55,020 --> 00:01:59,370 You can divide your friendships into two groups Drain's or Radiator's. 32 00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:03,780 Does your friend bring warmth into your life and make you feel happy and good about yourself? 33 00:02:03,810 --> 00:02:05,310 If they do, that's great. 34 00:02:05,340 --> 00:02:06,450 They're a radiator. 35 00:02:06,480 --> 00:02:11,790 However, if they drain all the love, positivity, strength and happiness from your life, it's a toxic 36 00:02:11,790 --> 00:02:14,760 friendship in your so-called friend is a drain. 37 00:02:14,790 --> 00:02:18,390 Once you know which of your friends are drains, you can take action. 38 00:02:18,420 --> 00:02:23,790 You may be able to cut your toxic friend completely out of your life if they are someone you only saw 39 00:02:23,790 --> 00:02:28,290 irregularly anyway, you can just stop texting, calling and arranging meet ups. 40 00:02:28,290 --> 00:02:30,600 You can delete them from your social media. 41 00:02:30,630 --> 00:02:34,770 Yes, you'll probably feel awkward and guilty, but it's for your own good. 42 00:02:34,770 --> 00:02:38,850 On the other hand, if it's someone that you're still going to see regularly, you may need to take 43 00:02:38,850 --> 00:02:40,350 a different course of action. 44 00:02:40,350 --> 00:02:45,750 You can hide them on social media so you aren't subjected to their negativity on a daily basis. 45 00:02:45,750 --> 00:02:50,520 Unfollowing someone means that they won't be aware that you can't see their post, but you'll be free 46 00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:52,920 of the toxicity and back in control. 47 00:02:53,010 --> 00:02:58,560 Since you can't change the toxic friend's personality, you'll need to change how you react to them. 48 00:02:58,560 --> 00:03:01,830 Don't allow them to make you feel small or bad about yourself. 49 00:03:01,830 --> 00:03:06,750 Instead, tell yourself that your friend has the problem and that there's nothing wrong with you. 50 00:03:06,840 --> 00:03:12,930 It can be slow progress, but over time you will gain back power and control if it's possible. 51 00:03:12,930 --> 00:03:16,140 Try to reduce the amount of time you spend with your toxic friend. 52 00:03:16,140 --> 00:03:20,520 If you're in the same place at the same time, try to form a buffer with other people. 53 00:03:20,520 --> 00:03:24,960 On the other hand, if this person constantly puts you down in front of others, just walk away from 54 00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:31,050 the group when she approaches or reply with a non aggressive, calm response that turns any snide comments 55 00:03:31,050 --> 00:03:32,100 back on the giver. 56 00:03:32,130 --> 00:03:35,820 We naturally want to gain praise and acceptance from the people in our lives. 57 00:03:35,820 --> 00:03:40,740 But if you have a toxic friend, you can end up feeling much worse about yourself when you've been hurt 58 00:03:40,740 --> 00:03:41,490 in this way. 59 00:03:41,490 --> 00:03:46,620 Try listing all the things you feel good about yourself or write them down and read the list whenever 60 00:03:46,620 --> 00:03:47,550 you feel this way. 61 00:03:47,700 --> 00:03:50,700 How to feed the positive relationships in your life. 62 00:03:50,820 --> 00:03:55,980 Once you've identified which of your friends are radiator's, you need to feed those positive relationships 63 00:03:55,980 --> 00:03:57,570 so they grow and thrive. 64 00:03:57,600 --> 00:04:02,970 Spend time focusing on those good friendships, try to spend as much time as possible around people 65 00:04:02,970 --> 00:04:04,890 that make you feel good about yourself. 66 00:04:04,920 --> 00:04:07,590 How can you foster those positive relationships? 67 00:04:07,590 --> 00:04:10,770 Here's some expert advice to point you in the right direction. 68 00:04:10,890 --> 00:04:12,210 Take time to listen. 69 00:04:12,210 --> 00:04:17,490 Listening skills are vital when it comes to boosting your friend's self-esteem and feelings of self-worth. 70 00:04:17,490 --> 00:04:22,620 Not only do you need to listen to what your friend has to say, but you also need to work to understand 71 00:04:22,620 --> 00:04:28,650 what they're communicating to you so that your interactions can be as effective and successful as possible. 72 00:04:28,740 --> 00:04:29,520 Be present. 73 00:04:29,610 --> 00:04:33,180 Just because you're physically with someone doesn't mean that you're really there. 74 00:04:33,270 --> 00:04:37,290 If you're dwelling on something else instead of really listening to what your friend is telling you 75 00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:41,910 or if your mind is wandering instead of really paying attention to what they have to say, you aren't 76 00:04:41,910 --> 00:04:44,010 fostering a positive relationship. 77 00:04:44,010 --> 00:04:48,090 The connection you make with your friends is the foundation of that friend success. 78 00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:53,730 So you need to devote enough time, effort and energy into building up and developing the relationship 79 00:04:53,730 --> 00:04:57,840 so that it can grow and thrive, give feedback and take it in return. 80 00:04:57,840 --> 00:04:59,910 Be prepared to offer advice, but also be. 81 00:04:59,950 --> 00:05:01,450 Willing to take it from your friend? 82 00:05:01,540 --> 00:05:05,050 This is a key part of a strong friendship, be trusting. 83 00:05:05,050 --> 00:05:06,940 It takes courage to trust someone. 84 00:05:06,950 --> 00:05:11,770 However, whatever your baggage, it's important to remember that the more you trust in your friend, 85 00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:13,990 the more open you are to positivity.